California Lovin'

So, a while ago I was feeling really overwhelmed and alone and homesick for my family. I was expressing my frustrations and worries to my best friend Kelly, and she took it upon herself to plan a mini vaycay for me to come to California and visit her and my family. She's the best.
I decided that I would surprise my family because I love surprises, therefore planning surprises for others is always super fun for me. I kept it a secret for quite a while (which was really hard, so I just kinda stopped talking to them very much to lessen the urge and temptation). hehe. Anyways, my parents broke the news that they were going to be in Monterey that week (SO not cool).. so I tried to sneakily tell them to change their plans because that sure as heck wasn't going to work for me. Of course, they questioned me about it and got down to the nitty gritty and I had to tell them so that they would believe me that it was important for them to change their plans. So rude. They did change their plans, but I only get to see my dad for about 24 hours, which is really sad, but I'm so looking forward to it on Friday night!
We decided to continue keeping it a secret from my sisters. Kelly picked me up from the airport on Saturday and we went to Sharkies and enjoyed some delicious, much craved nachos, and headed to my parents house. We hid in the tiny coat closet until they came home.. it got hot in there.. and poor Kelly was pretty much doing a squat that entire time. When Smelly found us, she jumped and about peed her pants. It was so much fun.
That night we all went and visited Anne Marie at work, and then hung out at Kelly's and then went and all slept in Anne Marie's room. On Sunday we went and watched the primary program at church. Kelly's sweet mom was so nice to invite us over for a linner. It was delicious soup and corn bread. mmm :).  Then went to the rainy, cold beach for a couple hours with Anne Marie's boyfriend (I swear they're inseparable).  We entertained ourselves with a volleyball.. just throwing it to each other. It was so fun, and I was scraping sand out of my hair for days. Then we went back to Kell's and watched shows as I napped.
Uhh- on Monday it's kind of a blur to be honest. I woke up super early and took Danielle and kiddos to seminary, waited in the car for an hour, and then drove them all to school. We picked my mom up from the airport later that day.. it was so exciting to finally see her. We went out to red robin which was absolutely delicious.. then we all fell into a deep food coma.
Kelly spent the night that night again and we went hiking the next morning. It was a fun hike in Malibu! it was kinda hard considering there were a lot of up hill and dumb downhill. But I vented and talked poor Kelly's ear off. Gosh, I've missed talking to her. I will confidently say that she's a great listening ear.  She never interrupts, and she always tell you the truth. That's right, I have a fantastic best friend, and you don't.
After that we went to the beach and it ended up being a gorgeous day. I just laid there on the beach relaxing and taking somewhat of a powernap while Kelly played her guitar. I have to say that listening to that is one of the most relaxing and comforting things to me. Kelly then realized that we had a whole flock of seagulls crowding around us.. She had serenaded them to us. It was really funny to watch. We got a good kick out of it. After our beach time, we went to Smelly's volleyball game which I really enjoyed. She always came to my school and sport events and it was nice to support her for once and to watch her in action. I absolutely love being a big sister. I wish more than anything that I could support her more. uuugh.
We spend the rest of the night just hanging out and watching TV. It was really relaxing.
Wednesday my mom and I hung out all day. I have really missed that. We took smelly some lunch and then went and had lunch ourselves. We talked and talked forever :) It was nice to catch up. We then walked around Home Goods for a while. My mom gave me lots of pointers on how to decorate my place and things to add onto what we already have. I also found the most divine yankee candle. I wish it would have only cost me 5 cents or something.. because I really wanted it.
We then went to her work while she finished up a couple things that needed to be done. I talked to Gabrielle for a little bit, and then talked to my Gmiddy (Grandma) on the phone too. She's so funny-- I never realize/ remember how funny she really is until I talk to her again.
Mom and I went and picked Smelly up from school, then I took her to Young Womens (who supplied some absolutely delicious apple cider), then we went and got frozen yogurt. YUM! So delicious. I have leftovers that I will happily eat today.
Last night for some reason was a little rough for me. My sister, Smelly is so beautiful, but she thinks she's not at all. She talks down to herself ALL the time- just like I always have to myself ever since I can remember.. when I was younger I tried this that and the other to change myself to feel better- but obviously it never worked. I feel like my poor example has rubbed off on her.. which I don't want. I want her to feel like what she is- beautiful, smart, intelligent, motivated, athletic, loved, she has a happy, bubbly personality that is absolutely wonderful and contagious- especially when she laughs, funny, cute, spiritual, strong emotionally, physically and spiritually, talented, brave, etc. She sees the opposite and I can't help but take a little blame for that. I don't want her to beat herself up like I do and did. It's really one of the worst feelings ever that feels like can never be overcome. It's this thing where you are just continuously digging yourself deeper into a hole where there are distorted mirrors everywhere and a soundtrack replaying reminders of every mistake, flaw and bad gene you have. How awful is that! I don't think many people read this blog, but for those of you who do- what do I do? How can I change this and feel better about myself, and therefore be a better example? Or- how do I help her?

"Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else." -Judy Garland

I was able to talk to Phill last night, which was one of the best conversations I've had with him in a little while. I love that man with everything I have. I couldn't ask for anyone better that I would rather spend my eternity with. We talked about our little one on the way, and I can't help but be a little overcome with excitement and happiness knowing that this is MY child. Heavenly Father has trusted ME to carry him and for Phill and I to be parents to His precious son. What a privilege it is to be a mother. I hope I can be at least half the mother my mom was to me. I want so badly to hold my little gummybear close (partly so he's not kicking my bladder anymore :P). Phew- I'm nervous with the responsibility I know follows. Yikes! Hopefully there will be a lot of you that will grace me with your advice.
Today I plan on relaxing and seeing some old friends, hanging out with my best friend, Kelly, going to lunch with my cute mamasita, and screaming from the stands at Smelly's volleyball game as my poor butt falls asleep on the hard, uncomfortable bleachers. :)
I can't wait to see my dad tomorrow. We have a lot of catching up to do! Plus, he's doing the whole barefoot running thing and is going to take me running with him (I hope you have enough patience to run with me, dad!) so I get to see the 5fingers in action!
Being here in California has been such a beneficial experience. Just in the past week I've had lots of changes to my poor body from pregnancy that my mom has explained and taught me and laughed with me about. It was a good week to come! I've needed this break so badly. It's such a refreshing thing to literally have NOTHING to do. I don't have to cook, clean, work, stress, blah blah. If anyone knows me they know I'm 1) not the most talented at cooking.. at all. and 2) I am not really that organized. well, I'm an organized mess. I usually have a weird system to things that makes no sense to anyone around me-including my husband. So having to try to be organized and super duper clean has been quite the journey for me... and it's a good break to just relax and not worry if the lines from vacuuming have been walked on and messed up or that there is just another dirty dish in the sink. It's also nice to not have to go to work and feel a little worthless and frustrated that I'm stuck in a position that takes me nowhere. Phill and I have talked a lot about our future plans- and are planning on moving to Logan in a year or less where we will both finish school and hopefully start a new chapter in our lives. It will be nice because I'll be really close to Anne Marie when she goes to school (WHICH BY THE WAY SHE GOT ACCEPTED INTO BYU-IDAHO!!!! I'm soo so very proud of her), and then my brother when he gets back from his mission and then we will be closer to my parents, and Phill's grandparents and sister and my aunts. It'll definitely be a giant step in the right direction.
We get our cute puppy in a couple weeks. Aww :) I'm sure he'll be our baby until the real one pops out.
My belly seems to grow a little bit daily. I'm still squeezing into my regular jeans, but not comfortably by any means. I'll put it this way- It feels like the baby is always upset that I'm wearing jeans that are tight around my stomach so he punches and punches until I reluctantly unbutton them or change into glorious sweats :)
My next appt is Monday-- we will officially find out the sex of the baby!!! Horray!
I miss my dear husband, and am excited to reunite with him on Saturday, although I wish I could bring my family with us.. actually scrap that. I'm ready to get out of Salem... so.. I wish I could drag them all to Logan with us right this very second.
We are having Christmas in Monterey (where my family is moving in 5 weeks).
I wish I hadn't forgotten my sudoku books.
I really wish I was asleep right now.