First Mothers day

Alrighty, so let me tell you what... Mothers day is so much more fun and exciting when you are actually a mother. a mom. a ma. a mama. a madre... ME!
I love being a mom and thank God every day for blessing Phill and me with Isaac. He is such a good baby (other than when he doesn't sleep) and is so happy. I couldn't be more happy with him!
He is learning how to smile. That's my favorite part so far! If I kiss his face or make a knocking sound with my mouth or give him eskimo kisses, he laughs and does this cute squeak that I think is supposed to be a laugh. At least someone things I'm funny!
Also, I love when he poops. Maybe not the whole clean-up part... but it is honestly hilarious. Isaac is such a funny face maker and noise maker.. and he really gets into it when he's pushin'. I did take a video of it... and I'm thinking about posting it. We'll see.
Being a mom is hard work. It doesn't really make sense how a little tiny baby can take up your entire day. The day is over before I know it. I think that the hardest things for me are as follows:
1) Nursing. I'm just getting to the point where it doesn't feel like my boobs are being slowly and painfully ripped from my body. But Isaac is the slowest nurser on the face of this earth. I swear he can chug a bottle when I pump, but it takes him a good hour to be satisfied when I just nurse him. It's hard to sit in awkward, uncomfortable positions for that long-- especially at night when I'm exhausted and delirious. Also, I have the world's lowest milk supply... so I hate having to supplement with formula when he's not getting enough. I want to this natural, gosh dangit. Does anyone have any advice of how to build my pathetic supply?
2) The whole healing process. Psht. I got my wonderful father's lack of patience. I hate waiting to heal. I've already started doing p90x and running-- and it feels great! I am so ready to get my body back into shape. I thought that once I had Isaac I would feel way more normal than I did, but I still feel like a fat cow (and even more so now that I have to pump my milk out like a stinkin' cow).  I think the whole 'babyblues' doesn't help my self esteem when it comes to that. I keep having to tell myself that it's all relative, and that I'll get back to my normal self eventually. I just have to be patient and give it time and effort.
3) Crying. Don't get me wrong... it doesn't make me crazy when Isaac cries (he actually doesn't cry very often... usually when he's just hungry or he's gassy and his tummy probably hurts). I just hate when I can't figure out what he needs or wants.. or when I know that his tummy is probably hurting and i can't do anything about it. It was awful when he got circumcised. I would have to change his diaper and do the whole routine and he would be screaming because I know it was probably very, very sore. Poor baby. It breaks my heart when he cries.

Today, I went over to Renae's to watch her two kiddos. When she got back, she offered to watch Isaac for me for a while so that I could take a nap and rest. Ohhhh, it was so rejuvenating!  I swear I think that I could totally sleep for the next 100 hours, but just the 3 or 4 hours that I did sleep did wonders for me.
She sent me some cute pictures that I thought I would share:

Isaac enjoying a French Fry since mom wasn't there to feed him.

Our good friend Jenn keeping Isaac warm in her sweatshirt at the park.

I am so blessed to have made such good friends here in Salem. I love the Battlecreek ward.. there are so many fun and interesting people there and I always enjoy their company.

Well, i guess that's a wrap!

adios, amigos.

picture update.

So... I realized that I haven't added any pictures to this blog. How boring is that!!?? So, here are some pictures of recently. I guess I will try to add more later as well.

This is me in Labor.. trying to finish my exams before hard labor kicked in

 My beautiful mom holding Isaac when he was first born.

Isaac snuggled with one of his favorite blankets.

Oh, hey mom.

Our little family :)

"Oh, mom... why do you take so many pictures?!"

Isaac loves having his hands by his face-- especially when he sleeps so it makes for some super cute photo ops.

Isaac and I trying out our new baby bjorn from Gramma Sloan! (THANK YOU!). Isaac absolutely loves being snuggled to your chest, so this makes it easy to carry him around with me.

Oakley is always curious about Isaac. She really loves him! This is Oakley snuggling up to Isaac the other day.

Oakley is one smart pup. She has now correlated Isaac crying, with him needing his pacifier. So when he starts crying, she will frantically look all over the house for a pacifier and bring it to you. How cute.

Ignore my face, but I thought this was hilarious. I was waking Isaac up with noises and just bothering him so he would eat, and he was NOT happy about it.

Isaac usually doesn't like being naked, but it's like a million degrees at the doctors office, so he didn't mind it so much. This is him at his 2 week check up.

My beautiful baby boy smiling in his sleep :)

Okay, I'm in love with this towel we got from Ketti at my baby shower. How cute is it?! Isaac loves it too. 

So, this was when I was about 30 weeks preggo I think? During Christmas, my parents were generous enough to fly us to Monterey for over a week. It was such a great vacation.

Sleep deprived delusional mama.

So my little man is not being very cooperative with me and my sleeping needs. I've been awake all night with him hoping and wishing that he would just fall asleep so I could lay him down, and go snuggle and sleep with my husband. I miss doing that. I find most of my nights are now spent in Isaac's room feeding him, changing him, and trying desperately for hours to rock him or snuggle him to sleep. He's quite the noisy baby with all of his humming and squeaks and "waaa's". It's so cute, but really quite disruptive when you're trying to snooze. Anyways, he's been like this for a couple of nights now and it's really starting to catch up to me. Whoever said "sleep when your baby sleeps" has obviously never had kids. When they sleep (especially during the day) all you want to do is snuggle (I feel like this word is going to be overused in this post) with them and stare at their cute faces soaking up the feeling of being so blessed to have a beautiful miracle in your arms. When you're not doing that, you take advantage of the baby being asleep by-oh, I don't know- showering and taking care of your own personal hygiene needs, or the needs of the house, or of a husband, or of your sanity (we'll touch more on this topic later).
I feel tired all the time, and I think that the baby blues have found a home inside this mama. Not once have I sat there and been frustrated at Isaac or angry or so depressed that I want nothing to do with him... it's not like that for me. Personally, my entire social drive has been chucked out the window, rolled down a steep canyon and is now buried at the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean. I know I'm a pretty awkward person when it comes to making conversation or whatnot, but usually I can do it pretty well.. not right now though! Now, I have a hard time not yawning every other word (when I can find words to say), and feeling like being around people is what I want to be doing at that moment. In my mind I would so much rather be snuggled in bed with Isaac, eating edamame and watching a movie or listening to our favorite guitar music.
Sometimes being home alone with Isaac is hard. It gives me a lot of time inside my head to think about how awesomely unattractive my post pregnancy body is with it's swelling of the face, tigerstripes on the tummy (stretch marks), and flabby skin on the stomach that makes me look fat as well. Ugh. I keep having to tell myself that it's all relevant and this, too shall pass.
I just want to go on a run!! and start working out again so I can feel more like my normal self. I want my nipples to stop feeling like they are on fire and might possible rip off my body when Isaac is eating or when anything, including air, touches them. I want to feel social again. I want Isaac to sleep better so that I have more of a chance to sleep more than 2-3 hours a day... and so that I can spend time with my husband. I want dinner to cook itself and my house to always stay clean and organized without me having to lift a finger. I want Salem to be sunny and warm already so I can go on walks with Isaac and just be outside.
Well, Isaac is being fussy. Until my next middle of the night delirious post.... farewell.